Oh my...dear me...

The Captain says we are going through a bit of trouble - a massive heatwave! However this is possible when we are at sea, I know not. All I know is that I am locked in this stifling cabin, perspiring profusely, and that my expertly-applied make-up job is melting off my face. I do not feel very pretty when I look like this, but what else can I do?

Just edit The Captain's poetry, I suppose...

Mary Langford