"Tragic Henry" by The Captain

"Happy Beak Day" by The Captain

"Adam Cartwright" by The Captain

"Hoss" by The Captain

"The Cartwright Brothers!" by The Captain

Blood Island Fiasco: Back from the Edge of Oblivion

Special note from Terrence L. Rathbone: For months we have been trapped, vacationing, stranded, imprisoned, experimented upon, and bewildered - depending upon one's point of view.

The Captain worked with witchdoctors on stablilizing Ponce de Leon's formula for the "Fountain of Youth" (which he had taken the liberty of introducing into our food at an earlier dinner party.) Before long into our stay on the island, some of us became ill; some even turned green and started to look like living zombies. We were all made the "honored guests" (quarantined) by the sinister Ministry of Tourism.

 The Captain seemed to view this as an exotic vacation resort, but most of us knew we were simply trapped on this God forsaken Island. It felt like months had gone by. Many had begun to give up hope they would ever leave that place.

Mary Langford had been the first taken and worst effected by the potions negative side effects.         She awoke one day with her face looking like that of an 80 year old woman. After fainting, she was the first to be experimented upon. The Captain worked with the Witch Doctors day after day, and finally one of their concoctions seemed to have cured her. With that, we were all given an injection of the antidote for the unstable effects (of Ponce de Leon's less than perfect formula) followed by (for all save for myself) a memory erasing drug.

This drug derived from local berries, combined with voodoo hypnotism, wiped out every memory of what had happened on the Island.
 I alone was allowed to retain those memories. Someone has to maintain continuity for The Captain's madness across space and time. I may one day tell these stories in greater detail, but for now it might shatter the minds  of some of the gentler souls amongst the the crew and captives held upon the S.S. Diamondback, which was finally back on the high seas. The Captain needs someone to document and maintain some order in his fantastically bizarre world, and I have become that victim, I suppose.

And for now, it seems the entire crew has regained their health. They have been well fed and the ships larders are stocked with wonderful foods from the Island. they are free from the Minister of Tourism's clutches, free from the oppressive heat, free from the experimentation, and free from the the giant insects and spiders that infested the place. In fact they are free from any memory of having ever even left the ship.  They woke up today, with no memory of any of these events.

I, however... remember clearly.
There are some things we would choose to forget, if only we could.
Terrence L. Rathbone

"Cowboy Warlocks (Yargh!)" by The Captain

Oh my...dear me...

The Captain says we are going through a bit of trouble - a massive heatwave! However this is possible when we are at sea, I know not. All I know is that I am locked in this stifling cabin, perspiring profusely, and that my expertly-applied make-up job is melting off my face. I do not feel very pretty when I look like this, but what else can I do?

Just edit The Captain's poetry, I suppose...

Mary Langford

"Pocahontas" by The Captain

Disney Movies? Oh my...

The Captain has decided on a special treat. That is, he is to do a special screening just for me, of Disney movies. I had never heard of a 'Disney' movie before, but I am quite impressed that this is what has become of the film I saw a long time ago about people getting off a train. The Lumiere Brothers, I believe, and I had not seen much of a film since, unless you count that dreadful vampire movie that The Captain forced us to watch so long ago. Dear me...how long has it been since that vampire movie? I am so confused by the time. So much has passed that I have been unable to keep track of it! Oh dear...

"But why are we watching these movies? I don't understand," I said when The Captain showed the last one, a lovely little picture about Snow White.

The Captain sighed. "Because I have written a whole slew of new poems for you, my dear, and these movies will better help you understand my prowess."

Indeed. There is a new stack of poems for me to edit. And I know not how much time I will have this time to get through them all. I just have to remember to say only nice things to The Captain in fear of my life. And my beautiful new face and figure...

Mary Langford

"Sleeping Beauty" by The Captain

Oh My Stars!!!

The Captain has gone on so long of a trip (I know not why) that I thought he has all but forgotten to give me poems to edit. But alas, it seems that he has been in the throes of writing more. Yes, more! Which means I am now to be confined even more to my cabin. And just when I've been holding out hope that I may one day be set free...

At least he gave me a trunkful of new clothes, though. And a new mirror, to replace the one he splashed ink all over. Such things give me hope.

Mary Langford

"Lorne Greene (A Sober Musing)" by The Captain

"Roberts Blossom" by The Captain

"666" by The Captain

"Harry Potter" by The Captain

"The Haunted Mansion" by The Captain

"The Zoo" by The Captain

"Victor Doherty" by The Captain

"The Pentacle" by The Captain

"Freedom" by The Captain

"Angry Birds" by The Captain